Listener Finds Parenting Info Helpful

Dear Dr. Bill:

I have always appreciated your perspective on raising kids. I'm surprised that more parents don't try the simple principles you present each week. Many times when I'm out shopping or in a restaurant, people have commented about how well my kids — ages 8, 6 and 3 — are behaved. But it's not that they're especially good; it's that people don't really expect kids to be good these days. From what I hear from other parents, troubles and tantrums have become the norm. Even in our church, I've heard about many Christian teens who are behaving badly.

I often ask God to help me protect my kids from the evil influences of our culture — things that would cause them to follow the example of their peers. And here's what I think the Lord told me: "Be consistent. Mean what you say, and say what you mean." And, "Raise your expectations." I think many parents today get exactly what they expected. If we believe our kids will experiment with drugs or sex, they probably will! But if we're consistent in how we parent them and have higher expectations for them, I think that would make a HUGE difference in the lives of our kids.

Of course, there are no guarantees. Kids from the most godly homes can go astray. But I think those two things can greatly improve the odds for our kids to turn out all right. I hope you don't mind; I just wanted to share that thought with you.

— Debbie

Dear Debbie:

Thanks for writing. I'm glad you find the information we present on Weekend Magazine helpful.

I appreciate your insights about expecting good behavior from our kids. When I speak to parents, I always remind them how important to is to clearly state our expectations for our children.

This is particularly true as they move into the teen years. It's critical for us to let them know our standards for male-female relationships, sexual purity, the Internet, cell phone use and drugs and alcohol. If we don't, the temptations of today's youth culture will prove too enticing to resist.

By the way, I always try to recommend a good parenting book or video on this program, and one of my recent favorites is a book by Tim Smith titled The Danger of Raising Nice Kids: Preparing Our Children to Change Their World. You can learn more about the book by contacting us at 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459).

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