Adopting an Abused Child

Dear Dr. Bill:

Four years ago, we adopted a baby girl from her birth mom. We have experienced a wonderful and healthy attachment with this child. Now we're considering a second adoption of an 18-month-old boy who has been in the foster care system with two different families for the past year. At 6 months of age, he was removed from his birth mom by Child Protective Services because of abuse. My question is, what are the risks of adopting a child at this age, especially considering his background? Will we have trouble bonding with this boy? Please advise.

— Doris

Dear Doris:

First of all, let me say "bless you" for your willingness to adopt. Focus on the Family has been a major proponent of adoption and foster care for many years, and we're always encouraged to hear stories like yours.

To answer your question, the first two years of life are critical for a child. Children who are abused, neglected, or moved from caregiver to caregiver during this time can have significant emotional and behavioral problems. Many suffer a phenomenon known as Reactive Attachment Disorder. This is characterized by an inability to bond with others, even adoptive parents who are extremely loving and nurturing. Children with this disorder may also have aggressive tendencies and display little empathy for others.

But it's important to know that every situation is unique. A lot depends on the individual circumstances of this little boy, and the type of foster care he received after he was removed from his home. Some abused and neglected children are extremely resilient and go on to thrive once they are in a stable environment.

I'd suggest you gather as much information as you can from the child's social worker. If possible, it would also be a good idea to talk to the two sets of foster parents. This will give you some indication of the type of care he has received and whether or not he seems to have any emotional or behavioral problems.

If you do decide to adopt this boy, it would be wise to consult with a psychologist who specializes in early childhood attachment. He or she can work with you, the current foster parents and the social worker to help ease the transition from the foster care setting to your home.

Thanks for your heart, Doris. James 1:27 tells us that religion that is "pure and faultless" is to look after orphans and widows in their distress.

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