Back to Basics
How can my family resist cultural pressures and focus on what's most important?
Dear Dr. Bill:
Do you remember when Sunday's stores were closed, there were no sporting events, and families went to church and worshiped? And how the dinner hour was set at 6 p.m. and nothing else got in the way? And Wednesday nights were set aside for church activities and most teachers didn't give out homework? Am I unrealistic to want all of that back again?
Lately I've gotten so tired of so many things pulling our family apart. Yet, if you want your child to participate in extra curricular activities, you must sacrifice some priorities. Is there anything we can do to get back to the basics? I have friends who think I would have been better off if I lived during the 1940s!
— Julia
Dear Julia:
You've asked a very important question about an issue that I care passionately about. Families are running at a breakneck pace today, and unfortunately even many Christian families are buying into the culture's notion of what will make us happy.
Everyday, our culture bombards us with the message that what's really important in life are things like achievement, success, popularity, power and physical attractiveness. But God calls us to a much higher standard. In God's economy what's truly important is developing a loving heart and Christ-like character.
Far too many Christian parents focus on making sure their kids make the honor roll, or play on the championship soccer team, or make the cheerleading squad or get into a top college. Those things aren't bad in and of themselves. The problem is when they become our chief goal in life.
Instead, our primary focus should be to help our kids cultivate qualities like honesty, empathy, compassion, service and self-sacrifice. We should be striving to raise kids who exhibit the Fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22 tells us that our lives should be characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
By the way, even families who don't know the Lord are finding that that the culture's promise of happiness is often hollow. Today's teens are experiencing record levels of depression and anxiety, drug and alcohol use is rampant, and many kids describe themselves as feeling stressed out just trying to keep up.
Julia, there's a great new book out that addresses these issues. It's called The Dangers of Raising Nice Kids by Timothy Smith. You can learn more about it by calling us at Focus on the Family at 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459).
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